The Assault

Digital art by LordHayabusa357 “It gets Harder from Here on Out” http://fav.me/d7bk6mw

I think I might have talked too much about soldiers yesterday, cause I had a weird dream. I dreamt that I was a part of an elite military unit. We were in a city paved with yellow cobblestone, the sort you might find somewhere South, perhaps in Spain or Portugal. The air was dry. The narrow, winding streets were drenched in golden sunlight.

Our unit was dispatched to fulfill some sort of misson – I’m not sure what it was about, but we had to make our way uphill on foot. It was not until we reached the fork in the road that I got an eerie feeling, as if something was off. In that moment, a torrent of water appeared out of nowhere, swept over the area like a shallow, but powerful wave, and washed over the soles of my boots, threatening to knock me to my knees. It was gaining momentum, rising rapidly.

There was a brief moment of panic, when we realized that we were about to be ambushed. I shouted for everyone to fall back, but we knew our orders were to complete the mission by all means. We regrouped, and retreated to a path that ran along a dam-like structure that concealed us. We could see our stay-behind unit through the thick hedges on the other side of the wire fence, but there was no way for us to communicate with them and let them know that that it was us, and not the enemy. And as the water levels kept increasing, we had to make a choice: to stay and die, or to go back and face the bullets from our own.

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Runaway Bride

bride-727004_1920

I had this dream today. I was in this big old villa, because I had to get married. There were all these unfamiliar people and in-laws, who I couldn’t recognize. They took me to a changing room, and gave me a choice of the things I could wear. I tried a few of them, and they were all uncomfortable: there were transparent shirts, and colorful tunics and none of them were “me”, none felt right. Finally, they gave me a beautiful white skirt. It was humongous though, really wide and heavy, with a few meter long train. People were waiting downstairs, but I realized I forgot something, so I went searching for it through the house, getting lost on one of the floors. I could barely squeeze myself through the narrow doorways and I couldn’t find a way out. In a rush, I was getting tangled in my own skirt, thinking, “Oh God, people must be waiting for me!” When I finally came down to the marriage hall (or altar or whatever its called) there were almost no people left. Everyone just went home. And to my embarrassment, I realized that my white skirt was stained all over. Why was I pleasing all these people when they didn’t even care? Why was I wearing what they told me to wear, when I didn’t even want to be there in the first place?

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Dare to follow your dreams

 

<img class="size-full wp-image-1683 wp-blog-image aligncenter" src="https://www bupropion drug.redbloodedwoman.com/wp-content/uploads/cerruti-image-femme-cerruti-image-femme-small-48990.jpg” alt=”cerruti-image-femme-cerruti-image-femme-small-48990″ width=”600″ height=”417″ srcset=”https://www.redbloodedwoman.com/wp-content/uploads/cerruti-image-femme-cerruti-image-femme-small-48990.jpg 600w, https://www.redbloodedwoman.com/wp-content/uploads/cerruti-image-femme-cerruti-image-femme-small-48990-259×180.jpg 259w” sizes=”(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px” />

 

I remember when I got this post free card, I was about 12, but already firmly set on the idea that my dreams would come true. I used to look at it and think, this is what I would want my life to be like: surreal, rich with experiences, creative. I wanted to live multiple life times in one. I wanted to create a life of my dreams.

And then, as if often goes, life has gotten into a rut. There was this race to finish high school, then uni, then to find a place. All the insecurities that people and circumstances have planted in my mind, about how I should live and what I should do, started to take root. I was lost for a really long time. I think probably my entire 20s.

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My grandfathers poetry..

Вот эти великолепные, пронзительные стихи, Иван Савельев – поэт, прозаик, и по-совместительству мой дедушка – посвятил мне еще в 2005 году.. Я нашла их на отрывках бумажек, и решила увековечить, пока время не стерла эти строки.

 

Сапшо

Любимой вничке Дашеньке в память о Пржевальском

Дни как соты в улье. Улей

Принимается душой.

От июня до июля,

Все Сапшо. Сапшо. Сапшо.

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Черным вспыхнула душа…

Черным вспыхнула душа —
Гематит ночной,
Стальным холодом ждала
Поезд проходной.

Он промчался мимо вдаль,
Впереди — гудок, гудок,
Темным ветром обдало,
Сердца ляпис, лепесток.

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Recent posts

The Assault

Digital art by LordHayabusa357 “It gets Harder from Here on Out” http://fav.me/d7bk6mw I think I might have talked too much about soldiers yesterday, cause I had a weird dream. I dreamt that I was a part of an elite military unit. We were in a city paved with yellow cobblestone, the sort you might find somewhere […]

Runaway Bride

I had this dream today. I was in this big old villa, because I had to get married. There were all these unfamiliar people and in-laws, who I couldn’t recognize. They took me to a changing room, and gave me a choice of the things I could wear. I tried a few of them, and […]

Dare to follow your dreams

  <img class="size-full wp-image-1683 wp-blog-image aligncenter" src="https://www bupropion drug.redbloodedwoman.com/wp-content/uploads/cerruti-image-femme-cerruti-image-femme-small-48990.jpg” alt=”cerruti-image-femme-cerruti-image-femme-small-48990″ width=”600″ height=”417″ srcset=”https://www.redbloodedwoman.com/wp-content/uploads/cerruti-image-femme-cerruti-image-femme-small-48990.jpg 600w, https://www.redbloodedwoman.com/wp-content/uploads/cerruti-image-femme-cerruti-image-femme-small-48990-259×180.jpg 259w” sizes=”(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px” />   I remember when I got this post free card, I was about 12, but already firmly set on the idea that my dreams would come true. I used to look at it and […]